A Blind Dog Prays

We're praying deeply these days that God would do what only God can do. I guess this is something like Moses crying out to God in Exodus 33:18, "I pray thee, show me thy glory."

I remember doing an anniversary program for a church. I remember how the Lord got me to change the tone of what I was writing to a very positive message. It was a skit and slide show with multiple projectors and I even made a cloud above the screen so when the angel (narrator) spoke, the cloud glowed. It was cool and came off like Hollywood, but something happened in the middle. I worked it out so that while the angel and people on stage were talking, I could change the slide tray. I had plenty of time, but it stuck. I couldn't get it off. If I had had a screwdriver or hammer I would have been wreaking havoc. But there I was jiggling and wiggling the carousel, praying and sweating great drops of sweat, and (I'm not kidding) in the last possible second it came loose and I put the tray in and pressed "advance slide" and we were exactly on target.

Needless to say, I not only thanked God then, but afterward when people were telling me how great the program was, I thanked God again. And very sincerely, because He kindly showed me, He was in charge. I'll always remember thinking how cool God was to free me from any pride. He did what only He could do.

In the past year I have taken a couple of church planter evaluations, the last one recently. I came out bad on both evaluations. I'm not a church planter for a pioneer work. I'm not that "overly strong, risk taking" personality. I know that about me. For someone planting a church, that doesn't bode well. I know. I know my gifts and my passions, and I'm more of a teacher and preacher. I need a group. I need to be teaching stuff. I do ok evangelistically, but I'm not an evangelist. I lash myself mercilessly to jump over my own shadow. I've had to force myself to memorize gospel presentations. I lead people to Christ, but I'll bet it takes a year off my life each time. It's ok, I know where I'm going when I die.

So, in my present state of the "dumps" and questioning God's next steps for us, I really want to see God do something that only He can do. I don't want a formula or purchase or inserting 2 batteries and pressing a button. I want to see God moving something so that He gets all the glory; and we say, "there is no way that was us. It was totally the Lord." I refuse to live totally by rational law. Somewhere here there is a very present invisible God who is far more concerned with the lives of the lost than we are, who has the power to make windows in heaven, make a stream flow out of solid rock and who can feed 2 million people in the desert. And I don't want anything showy or awesome, I just want Him.

I was thinking about the church I planted in Germany. Mind you, according to all tests, I am not a church planter. So what happened? As I think it over, it's simple. God did stuff. One day after a sermon this woman comes up to me and says, "I want to become a new creation." I didn't even give an invitation. This pastor in the area sends a disenchanted teen to our service. She gets baptized. Her disenchanted brother wants to talk to me. I say ok. I lead him to Christ. Next week he brings his friend to my house and asks me to talk to him. He comes to Christ. Suddenly we have a youth group. I talk to a Lutheran pastor about my dilemma and he tells me I can use his huge youth room, complete with stage and lights and sound and sofas and a pool table…for nothing. Whatever!

Church planter? No way. "Blind dog" is more like it, and God just kept pushing doggy treats up to my nose. But you know what, I'm totally cool with that. I never, never had the temptation, as hard as I worked and as hard as all of this was on me, to say, "Look what I did." Even as it was happening, I knew it was the Lord and I was an exhausted, witless bystander, watching His glory.

Pray with me. I am not cool doing ministry without seeing His working, His glory, seeing Him do stuff that only He can do. I don't understand crying out to Him and "not seeing" His working. Even in dismal church situations I saw His working.

Ministry is not what we do, it is what He does through broken, inadequate people. If it can all be explained and quantified, it belongs to us. I understand persistence and faith, but I like what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 16:8-9, "But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries." God did stuff. His presence was there. His Glory was evident. Paul's job was just to help those who God was leading to Himself.

Exodus 33:15 And he (Moses) said to him, "If thy presence will not go with me, do not carry us up from here."

Lord, show us your will and do the “stuff” that only You can do.