Life is… one darn thing after another, according to Mark Twain. There is no shield or buffer, particularly in tough times. There are real and imagined threats. We can even multi-task, invading the future to tap into the anxiety of things that haven’t happened yet.
So what’s a man to do (emphasis on “man”)? It is hard enough to keep your own head on, much less worry about the heads of others, especially that significant other, the wife.
Jesus offers a special benefit to hanging out close to Him. It is referred to as “the washing of water with the Word.” This is what Jesus does to the church, and practically, to all who walk close to Him.
The effects of this life are toxic and cling to us. We need to be washed daily. Our hearts are also toxic, and incited by life, it begins to fill our blood with impurities. Staying close to Christ means that His Word washes us. He supplies us with daily dialysis, clearing the stuff out of our blood. How do you know if someone is close to Christ? They behave and smell like they are clean and they act healthy. Paul says, “but if one loves God, one is known by Him.” It is involuntary. You love Him, you hang out with Him and you’re getting fresh and clean and refreshed, and you get known by what He does to you.
For a guy, it means that life gets centered in Christ. You have the Word working in you to give balance and perspective, trust and determination, love and reliance. What we read is used by the Spirit. We see Abraham and Sarah waiting and we are convicted and think about our waiting. We see David surprised by the loss of everything and we learn to strengthen ourselves in the Lord. And it goes on and on. None of this is easy and it means staying close to Him even when we could do other stuff. It’s amazing how it works.
I notice the effect it has on me to be washed in the Word in my reading and in memorizing and the often subtle effect of God’s Truth and Spirit being there with me to help me or caution me or to advise me everyday and in every situation. It really is cool and I think this is what it is supposed to be.
So then, as a guy, I read Ephesians 5 where it says that husbands loving their wives they should follow Christ’s example and give themselves to sanctify her by the washing of water with the Word.
Especially in the situation we’re in, I notice how calming and helpful it is that Laura is in the Word and that we are reading the same stuff. When I come in we have a short discussion almost everyday about something she read. We go over the discipleship stuff for “future ministry” but really, it is to wash us in the Word now. Even today, talking about Grace and reading the prodigal son was good.
I think this is supposed to be the ministry of a husband to his wife, doing as Christ does to His church. How many years have I told my wife “stuff?” Sometimes it helps and sometimes not. I’ve prayed a lot. But if I understand what God is saying here, like Christ, I am to set her aside for the Lord and to lead her by sharing with her in the Word. As God is working in me, I am to be with her making this a part of our lives, allowing the Spirit to cleanse us and keep us soothed in the Word. It has to be true of me before the Lord, and I have to be pursuing it with Laura. The effect is to present her to Christ with splendor, without spot or wrinkle, that she may be holy and without blemish.
How many wives are resigned with frustration or riddled with anxiousness and their husbands are no help. The truth might be that the husband can’t help. Whoever said a man could meet an essential need that only God can meet. Hook up a 3 volt battery to a semi and try to crank it up. It would eat the battery without a peep or the slightest movement. Only the Lord can care for the deepest needs. So the husband is to gently lead his wife to the stream of the Word and is to develop the habit with His wife to spend time washing together in the Word. Happy is the man whose wife loves the Lord and the Word and will do this. Happy is the wife whose husband loves Christ and gets this. It’s better than having two cast iron tubs next to each other in the back yard and the neighbors won’t call the cops.
Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
You can’t keep life out, but you can keep clean. Christ doesn’t take us out of the world, He just promises to live with us, closely, dining with us, hanging out, cleansing us as we get the job done He left us here to do. People notice you don’t smell and they get curious. They see your calmness and balance and perspective, and they wonder. They see a marriage without toxins and wonder how that happened. It’s all in the company we keep and the washing of water with the Word.
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