Monday, May 31, 2010

Waiting when it hurts

Exactly 4 weeks later. What ups and downs. Heroic faith and a flop. Reading of Saul and David. Heroic faith and a flop.

Theology is easy. Following is difficult, especially with a nature that rebels and insists that God takes too long. Waves seem to be the invitations to doubt. Drowning doesn’t appear to have an upside, even if our flaying to stay alive means we have to disobey the author of life. There are days you wish God would just blow the trumpet and get this over with.

So, the Lord asks us to wait. Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. I guess this means that in waiting, you lose strength. Didn’t see that coming. Saul waited and lost strength as he saw the people leaving him. David was anointed and waited for years…a couple in Ziglag and then 7 in Hebron, to be fully made king. I guess waiting is draining….no, let me say it distinctly, waiting is very draining.

And to think, God asks us to do it. And sometimes it is because we’ve made all the right decisions. Obey the Lord…and it produces a result, but not a comfortable one. Elijah prayed for it not to rain. God took care of him for a while, but then the brook dried out. Now what? Go to starving widow. You just go, trusting, waiting.

Waiting means, eventually, obeying and looking to the Lord. Eventually, because finally there is nothing left to do. No distractions or small forays forward meet the need for which you await an answer. You act to do the nitty-gritty of living with a drying creek, but His word is the release. And where will His word find us. That is the rub or worry. Will we have lost weight, lost possessions, lost credibility, lost everything?

Yet, what do we really lose if we wait. We gain faith and eventually we gain renewed strength. But for me, I want to gain Christ. I’m tired of not “getting it.” I want Him. Paul wanted this too and seemed to find it, following Him in the mission, learning the secret of contentment in all circumstances, in plenty and hunger, in abundance and want. He learned to do all things through Him who strengthens.

So the ship sits in the ocean with no breeze to drive it. You wait. The creek dries and the throat is parched and the birds have not returned. You wait. The armies of the philistines gather and the troops give up. You wait. A promise is made, but you despair in waiting. And still, you wait. God works everything for good with those who love Him, who are called according to HIS purpose. And so we wait, for “they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Monday, May 3, 2010

You Can’t Lose.

What is the highest goal? I have to answer “Glorifying God.” The reason I have to say this is that everyone does. It is the least common denominator, the number that can’t be reduced, the goal when all the goals are finished. It’s the last goal standing….sort of. When evangelism and lost people are a thing of the past, our sin is gone, and we see Him face to face, we will still live to glorify God. That’s what the theologians and catechism writers say.

But the question is, “How do you glorify Him? What is the context?” This question is more interesting and practical. A dying person, an over worked mother, a burdened husband, a teenager, the poor, the disabled, the successful, the failed, do we all have something that we can see that makes our work and life and effort the same and fulfilling? What makes sense of life when life makes no sense, or when life is so routine we could spit, or when everything seems to be going in the totally wrong direction? When God seems absent and the unrighteous get the over hand, is there still something God wants us to do? Glorify Him? Sure, but how? Let’s face it, even the Bible doesn’t give us the idea that we should be shouting for joy even in the darkest moments of our soul. So what does God’s goal for us look like? What is the real goal of our lives.

I think it is learning more of & knowing God. That explains Moses following sheep 40 years in the wilderness. It explains 14 years of obscurity for Paul. In fact, it explains 2.5 years in jail for Paul, the apostle on steroids, sitting on his hands in Caesarea Philippi. It explains Jesus knocking on the door and calling for us to open.

Paul says in Phil. 3. I count everything as refuse for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…that I might know Him and the power of His resurrection, and might share in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death…. Paul wasn’t done learning of / knowing Christ. It drove him because Christ had known Paul.

To learn of Him and know Him is the goal, 24/7, and then to let Him shine through us. Certainly He brings those times of learning of Him to use when we tell others of Him. Nothing is wasted, in fact, the primary goal, even in disaster, is to learn of Him. All of our goals are extremely secondary, even in trying to serve Him. His view of success is us learning, not completing any particular project, in fact, “dead-ending” our project may be His will to bring us to the emotional point of learning. The Father prunes to increase our fruitfulness, but that pruning, involves entering the classroom of chaos, the divinely designed place of pressure, the bewilderment of fear or defeat, maybe even the valley of death. A project that explodes or leaves us wondering what went wrong. A new place in life that is just hard. When we are trapped in a routine of mind-numbing tiredness and sameness.

A tale of 3 couples. What would be the chances that I’d have the occasion to express all of this to 3 couples on the same day? In some regards, all similar situations. Kids consume their days and lives. Life is not the “Hey, let’s just go…” thing it was before. Serving God involves strollers and messes and tiredness and diapers. When will this all be over so I can finally get something done? But this is a predestined, divinely made, holy place. What about our goals? This is the only goal, learn of Him here. What about the work? That is a side issue. Here is where you learn to love God, and balance life, and obey His Word, and learn of Him. This is not an accident. You have been selected to take part in this course of study. Too often we confuse achievement with finishing a task rather than learning to Love Christ and to Know Him. This is what He wants. You concentrate on loving your “next one” and you learn to enter into God’s heart. Those who know and love God will always be reaching out to the lost because they have the heart of God. They will always be fruitful. They will know that success and fulfillment are on our lips and in our hearts, not far away. It is to hear Him now and know Christ.

So these fishermen have been up all night. Maybe for a little they have been talking about this rabbi, Jesus, but mostly they have been discussing that this is the worst night of fishing they have ever experienced. What happened to the fish? This is total expenditure with nothing to offset their labor. As the rays of the sun break over the hills surrounding the sea of Galilee, they know that the morning market is near to opening, and they have nothing. They will be broke, but still be obligated to pay wages.

On the shore they turn away the buyers and sellers and express their own amazement that they caught nothing. Peter’s father comes by and they all shake their heads. Now they have to clean up. They spread out the nets and clean out the kelp, mend parts of the nets that tore, and lay them out on the boats to dry and as they are beginning this they see crowds and then Jesus, the rabbi. It seems like the crowd is herding Him toward them and He asks if he can teach from a boat as they tend their nets. They push out and listen to Him teach as they multi-task. They still hear it all, and some of what He says is utterly captivating. It is so real and makes so much sense. They’ve seen Him do miracles like in Cana and John the Baptist pointed them to Him.

He teaches on and on and on. The nets are folded and almost dry. The fishermen look at the sun as He keeps talking and notice that it is well past noon and their day is coming to an end. They need to sleep and begin again tonight, hopefully to a catch that will reverse the misfortune of last night. This day had now gone totally out of control, and while they are moved or challenged by some of what Jesus says, they wish he’d stop and let them get on home.

He’s done, finally. The crowds are slowly leaving, too slowly. Some are waiting for Him to come on to land to ask Him questions, or to touch Him, or to ask for Him to do something. The fishermen talk with Him and alongside all the small talk they mention the weird night they had. His eyes kind of spark like He’s made a connection, figured something out. Why did they tell Him that? So He says, “Push out into the deeper water.” Sure, this will get him away from the lingering crowds and as they row out, more people are giving up waiting and going home. Then he says, “let down your nets and you’ll get a catch here.”

Someone please say “NO!” He knows nothing about fishing. They all think this. This isn’t the time of day. The nets won’t go down to the depths the fish are at in the heat of the day. Then they have to re-clean and fold and dry the nets. They’ll never get to sleep!

But Peter, fighting his own heart and attitude, agrees. Peter likes Jesus, sees something in Him. And though they’ve seen Peter face off with buyers in the market, he is cautious with Jesus, almost as if he believes He could be right. So he agrees.

The boats come together and spread the nets in the water. Nothing. Someone says, “This is what it was like last night.” Then a fish jumps. Someone yells, “Get it, at least we can have lunch.” Then the water begins to boil with movement. Instincts take over and the chatter increases to a laughter of calling and working and jesting, but slowly it becomes silent, the strain of the work and then wonder. Men call back to the shore for help. Boats are beginning to sink. Peter’s father arrives on the shore and Peter calls to him to help. Two more boats are on the way.

Never have they seen this many fish. It is so unbelievable, if God Himself were to… and then Peter turns to Jesus, who is on His knees holding on to the net. Peter amazes them. He falls to his face before the knees of Jesus and says, “Leave me Lord, for I’m a sinful man.” Peter learned something in this awful day. Jesus sees this and smiles and says, “Follow me, and you will become a fisher of men.”

When they arrive on shore with this windfall of fish, all of Capernaum seems to be waiting for them. They are selling fish right from the boats. They won’t have to work tonight. They’ll finally get to spend a longer evening with their wives and children.

And now look at that, Peter, Andrew, John and James are walking off after Jesus. Peter’s father is talking after them, shrugging his shoulders, waving his hand at them. But they learned something about Jesus, it was all worth it, and they are following Him.

The wasted night of fishing was staged by God. The patience bending time of waiting for Jesus to finish talking was crafted to test their understanding of who Jesus really was. Then the emotional strain of being asked by him to do something you would never do and contrary to all of your instincts.

Then came the learning. Who is this Jesus? Who cares about fish? Who cares about the profit? Leave it all behind because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus.

For those who love God and are trained with a passion to know Christ and share His love, there are no accidents or unfortunate circumstances where failure is a slap in the face and the results are empty hands. If my family is here it is so I can know Christ; if my  health is failing it is so I can know Christ; if I’m in this stress it is so I can honor Him by focusing on His goals, not mine, and know Christ. And it is from this knowing Him, that we can never know failure and never be fruitless.